COPY CAT DRAG QUEEN

Dear Misty,
I am an up and coming drag queen and I have made friends with a lot of queens. I have copied some of their looks and I think I made a few really upset with me. What do I do? I like their stuff and wanna keep doing it cause they are good. And I want to be good. Sincerely yours, Still Learning

Dear Copy Cat:

Yes it is said that Imitation is the HIGHEST Form of Flattery, however taken to the extreme you can really piss someone off. This is a tough bridge to cross, cause I do understand, but if you copy a girls look or trademark etc it not only cheapens your look, but also the original. Nobody wants little copy cats running around. Yes, In any careers or business paths we learn from those that came before us. We take what we discover and improve on it or use it as a foundation for our own creation. Nobody does the exact same thing as those before them (Ok Maybe in accounting) but Definitely not in the entertainment business. So here is my advice... If you really like a girls look, ask her to help you / mentor you... If she teaches you how to do your makeup like her's etc you have permission to copy her. If you ask her to style wigs for you and you buy them from her then its yours. I know its tough especially at the beginning but you need to find your own place in this world. So if you like the swoop that she does with her wig, then you should do your own version of it. BUT If someone does something Far OUT and ORIGINAL and you copy them, and do your own version of it, It will make you look like a horrible copy cat and nobody will take you seriously. Not to mention upset that queen. This even goes for music, if a drag queen gets trademarked for doing a particular song, do not do it in the same town or circle of performance gigs. Especially if she is a professional and better than you, they will compare you and you will look worse. In closing I think you should take many different things from many different queens and make your own creation. XOXO Misty Eyez

What is TWITTER all about?

Dear Misty:

This one might be tough? And I dont know if you can even help me? But I dont get it. Everyone is talking about this Twitter thing. I went to www.twitter.com and I signed up, but I dont get it. Where do you put your photo Galleries? Am I just technologically challenged? I really dont understand what all the Hype is about. ~Twittered Out.

Dear Twitter Friend,

OK , this is Not Facebook or Myspace, and there are no Photo Galleries (Just one main pic of you), and like a friend of mine said this is just Text Messaging on Crack. I can seriously relate to you, for I also signed up and for the first 3 months I simply didn't get it, and I assumed it was just for the 40+ adults to feel young again as if they were secretly passing notes in school. Then I kept getting email notices that People were following me, and then I felt I obligated to either "shit or get off the pot." First, I decided to delete my account. But before doing so I wanted take a final look, and actually pay attention to what was going on before ending it all. OK -- This is what I realized, twitter is best used by TWO groups of people: 1st, Those that have a voice, or something to Say: This can be anything from random thoughts, to inspirational quotes, to actual comments Like "OMG: Im at Starbucks and there is a lady at the counter with toilet paper hanging out of her dress" & 2nd, its for those people that LOVE gossip or just enjoy knowing what everyone around them is doing. (I personally realized I fit into both Categories.) Many times I twitt from my cell phone, and then others I sign on to read and comment on what my friends are saying / doing.

Now, to become a Successful Twitter user, I suggest uploading your address book. (On the top right click on "FIND PEOPLE" then click on "Find on other Networks") This will automatically sign you up to follow your friends that are also using twitter. This is a group of people that you actually Know, and are your Real Friends. That way when you log on, you will have a vested interest in what all of your friends are up to / doing. Then you can also choose to follow other people / celebrities that you may find interesting. I admit its fun to sign on and see, and reply to their twitts. (I also found a Facebook app that automatically directs all off my Twitters to my Facebook Status) BTW: Keep the number of people you follow to a minimum... if you just start following Tons of people, you will be overwhelmed when you sign on, and not care what anyone says. And the last few things to help... In the right Column you'll see @your name (Mine is @theeyezoffl) this is letting you know Every time someone has commented on or replied to one of your twitt's. Direct Messages - is just that a private message sent to you. Favorites is people that you want to keep close (like a top 8) and Finally right under favorites is a white bar that says search. This is where you can search all twitters for your common interests. Cats? or Michael Jackson etc that way you can make twitter friends with strangers of the same interest. I hope I helped you find a new love / understanding of Twitter. PS - If you would like to Follow me Im www.twitter.com/theeyezoffl and Boy About town is www.twitter.com/boysbuzz. Happy Following xoxo Misty Eyez

What is the Differenece between CD / TV / TS

Dear Misty,

So there is a guy that lives in our apt building & he says he is straight but he dresses in "drag". So my question is simple-why do people dress in drag? If it's not solely a "gay thing" then what type of a "thing" is it? What do you 2 gain by doing it? Besides the fun of it all and looking great is there a point? -Jenn

Dear Jenn,

WOW, That is a GREAT QUESTION, and yet it requires a very complex answer. So complicated I don't know where to begin.... First let me say that NO -- dressing in woman's clothing is NOT just a gay thing. Let me see if I can help, and break it down for you, for the trans gendered community is split into three different Categories:

Transsexuals, Drag Queens, and Transvestites/Cross dressers,

Transsexuals, this is the most common group currently talked about in our media Today. Trans-Men and Trans-Women are individuals that feel they were born in the wrong body. This word merely means they are in the process of Transitioning their sex, and there are two types "Pre Op" Transsexuals and "Post Op" Transsexuals (Post Operation means they have had their down stairs surgery) they are often called Trannie's, or TG's (Trans Gendered) There are both FtoM Female to male and MtoF Male to Female Transsexuals. This however does not affect their sexual preference only their gender Identity. Some Grow up identifying as Gay, and become str8 women and some grow up identifying as Str8 men only to become lesbians after transition.

Drag Queens are Entertainers, and most usually identify as Gay Males. (Yes, this is what I am) We live our lives as Men, but we entertain on stage for a living. There are Career Queens and there are Hobby queens (I think Every Gay man does drag at least once before he dies - Usually on Halloween) However we are all guys in the day and dress up for work it! or to spice up parties etc. To Quote Wesley Snipes as Noxeema Jackson in the 1995 Movie To Wong Foo: "When a gay man has way too much fashion sense for one gender he is a drag queen." PS - Some Career Drag Queens alter their Bodies for their profession and end up becoming Transsexuals even though they do not identify as TS or women trapped in men's bodies.

Transvestites and Cross Dressers are the same thing, however most use the term Transvestite for it is much friendlier and this group of people is accepted by the Trans gendered community. TV's /CD's are straight men who wear woman's clothing for sexual fetish. This is usually about the article of amusement. Some just wear Panties or Pantyhose, some love the shoes and some need a dress or lingerie. But dressing in the opposite sex's clothing is just something they do in private for a sexual turn on. Unless they are going into public or a CD Party etc, they usually do not even wear a wig or accessories. Most often these straight men Do not Shave or alter their appearance in any way. In fact many of these men will have a beard or goatee to prove they are masculine, as to disguise their secret life.

We will address the Fun of it on another day, I hope I could Help XOXO Misty Eyez

TIred of this TALKING SHIT BITCH

Dear Misty,

There is this bitch. She is nice to my face but is going around talking all this stuff about me behind my back! Basically, she makes allegations about me and how I treat her and her mother. She knows I know and most people seem to think she is a liar so I am not freaking too much, but, damn stop running your mouth. I want to confront her but don't want to disrespect the people we are with or who's house we're in. How do I say, "Listen bitch, I know what you're saying and nobody believes you so, step off?!"

Dear Frustrated,

OK your right... its time to stand up for yourself, and your also right in not wanting to disrespect the house you are in or the company of others. You need to get her to a place where you are alone, Public helps if you are afraid she is going to cause a scene. I suggest a local coffee shop (If she refuses - then anyplace you can get her alone / parking lot etc) First you need to open with a non threatening statement like I really like you.... and I want to be friends.... but I don't understand why you hate me or what I did to cause you to talk so much shit about me behind my back. That way you can get to the bottom of it and fix what went wrong. Most people react, In Example: A few years ago I was really good friends with a Local Folk Singer and he fell in love with me, and even proposed to me in my parking lot. I politely declined, apologized and gave several reasons it would not work, like the fact that we had never been on a date etc. I thought we would remain friends however I then found out he was trash talking me to each and everyone one of my friends. I hadn't done anything to him except reject him. He felt rejected and was acting out.So if this girl is reacting to something the best way to stop it is to find out why etc. ~Kiss Kiss Misty Eyez

Like a Dog to Its Vomit - a man wants his EX

Dear Misty,

Not too long ago I got dumped by my ex. He treated me like the center of his world when we were together, but when he walked away it was over. No more calls, emails nothing. He started dating someone else immediately. Lately, we have seen each other out and about. He is getting overly friendly & there is some flirting back and forth. Do you think that maybe he just made a mistake? I am no fool and I am on alert but maybe we can "fix" it. Please help Im Confused.

Dear Confused,

NO - Do NOT Do it... You need to realize that your relationship ended for a reason. The only way to re-kindle a relationship gone bad is to address the situation that caused the break up and to fix it. To me it sounds like he just found someone better and dumped you for an upgrade. It is natural to flirt in passing for you both shared something intimate, and more often than not, our memories are either Better or Worse than the actual reality of what happened. You know this reminds me of a biblical scripture: Proverbs 26:11 As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly. (New International Version) My advice is to stay far away, unless the sex was amazing. But only hook up if you are able to remain emotionally un-attached for he will break your heart again.

(this is the original reply... before it was edited for the website I write for)

Dear Misty: My boyfriend just got a new job that will be taking him out of town for work quite a bit. We are past the honeymoon stage, but we are very much in love and are still smitten with each other. How do you feel about phone sex? Should I do it? Ive never done it before. What are your suggestions? How can I please him over the phone? Please Help. ~Sexxy Caller.

Dear Intimate Caller: Honey YES! Pull out your vibrator / dildo (if you don't have one yet... get one the same size or a bit smaller than your boyfriends) that way you can please yourself as you please your man. There is nothing wrong with masturbation and there is nothing wrong with phone sex. Not to mention, if your boyfriend is on the phone with you on a sexxy time phone call, then he is not downstairs in the lobby or at the bar trying to find unneeded attention from strangers. Here are some great phone sex tips for beginners. First start by telling him what you want to do, but say it as if you are actually doing it to him. "Im taking your shirt off right now" Say it in present tense, and say it a little dirty and erotic with very descriptive words like "Swollen," "Huge," and "Massive." Moan a lot and ask for feedback, "ummm yeah... do you like that.... do you want more?" Being you already know each other intimately this should be very easy for you. If you are nervous just do audibly what you have already done for real in the past. By now you should know what your partner likes, and don't be afraid to try new things. He may ask you to do something on the phone you didn't know he wanted to try in real life... Encourage this, that way He has something to look forward to when he gets back home to you. ~Have fun and enjoy yourself ~ Misty

Am I a Bad Drag Friend?

Dear Misty,

We have a friend that does drag. I am writing on behalf of a few (all straight) friends that are all supportive. He is new at this, and at times it shows. I worry people are thinking badly of him. We are afraid some passing car full of drunken kids will stop and hurt him. We always offer to hang out with him, but he JUST told us he needs to leave our little group to "find his gay wings and fly", his words. Help us to be the best friends we all can be.

Yours Truly,

Don't want to be a drag of a friend.

Dear Drag/Fag Hag,

You do sound like a good friend. It is nice to know that you are loving and supportive. I am however a bit confused, you say all the other friends are straight, and you want him to keep hanging out with you, but what do you guys do? Please tell me you are not taking a new cross dresser (who in your words: and at times it shows) to a straight bar. I am so conflicted I don't know how to answer this -- OK. He is probably going through an identity crisis, and is not sure what to do. He may think that he needs to leave your group for he no longer feels that he fits in or even belongs. So a true friend will encourage him to make friends with "his own kind," but remind him that doesn't mean he has to abandon you. You can go with him and hang out with his new friends. Also remember most amateur or just starting out queens automatically think they are the best. (yes even me on my first time ever in drag for Halloween I thought I should have won the best drag queen costume contest... and looking back at those pics IM HORRIFIED at how I looked, and I didn't deserve to win let alone enter.) In a delicate nature let him know what he needs to work on. Remind him that maybe he doesn't look like a real woman or that he might need help etc. But if you dont know how to help or what he needs help on its useless. Their are only two ways he will get better. First is to practice! practice! practice! (just like a sport) and second, he needs to hang out with some fierce queens. If you look around and your the prettiest of your friends, you stop striving to be even better. In this field we all feed off each other and learn from each other. Have you ever been to a horrible drag show, in some small town, and all the queens are BAD. But then you go to another town and all the drag queens are GOOD. The thing is the bad drag queens don't know they are bad, they are getting the same praise from their friends and loved ones as the good queens, and only by comparison are they bad. To be the best friend you can be is to take him to all the drag shows you can, let him see how the professionals do it. Get him inspired by their makeup and hair etc. XOX Misty Eyez

Good Guy or Bad Guy....

Dear Misty,

I moved to LA and still have some of those "midwest values" in me. I am dating a truly nice guy who is sweet, hard working and we have talked about the big M. My parents and friends like him. I can see myself having kids with this man. There is another guy that is nice in a different way. My family would do a backgroud check just by the looks of him. He should not be trusted with a house plant much less kids, he drinks too much...etc. I am in my 20's and sometimes want to go out with this guy rather than watch dvds with my boyfriend! What do I do? I am not saying I want to sleep with this guy, I am not saying I don't want either! Confused and feed up with Netflix!

Dear wanting her cake and eating it too.

I think that your heart already knows the answer to your de lima. You basically told me in your letter to me what you think is right. However if you need some sausy Drag Queen advice. Here goes: Guy #2 is obviously not Mr Right, but mearly Mr Right Now. If you cannot trust him with a plant let alone children, this is NOT the man you should spend the rest of your life with, grow old with, and /or raise a family with. So, If you are attracted to him... and before you get engaged to Guy #1, you should make sure you have contraceptives in order and then Sew your wild oats with this man. Do it dirty and do it kinky and do it all night long. Get him out of your system and then you will be ready to plan a beautiful future with Mr Right without distractions...."what if's etc...." Now when you start getting tired of Netflix again, get spontaneous with your man, and switch it up. Blind fold him, or get a motel room (yes with your husband/fiance) a change of atmosphere could be all you need to turn your bedroom up a notch. We all have a hidden animal inside of us, you just have to learn how to get him to let his barriers down and let loose. XOXO Misty Eyez

EVIL GRANDMOTHER

Dear Misty,

I have 2 young children who often spend time with my ex's mother. I'm worried she'll speak ill of me in front of my children. She has a history of doing this to other family member's children. Although she is Grandma, I fear what her evil tongue will do to my kids.... A. in the O.C.

Dear Loving Parent,

The little minds of children are VERY perceptive, they may not understand all the details of how or why... but they know what's going on. It is very important that you are always Honest with your children, they need to know they can come to you with anything and you will tell them the truth. With that kind of relationship they will believe and trust in you, no matter what any other relative says. I'm sure they know why you divorced, so be up front about the current situation let them know how you feel about grandma (DO NOT TRASH HER.) But let them know that she is their grandma and will always be their grandma, and you like that they have fun at grandma's house. However, take an active role, and be excited about what happened at grandmas house so they get comfortable sharing with you. "Really? She took you for Ice cream.. COOL what kind did you get?" And when they share something you don't approve of, or if they quote her as to say something like.... "Grandma said that Uncle Tom is a bigot" its ok to FROWN and show disapproval and say something like "OH... Grandma is so silly" and warn them that sometimes Grandma doesn't understand why things happen and sometimes she gets mad at people for no reason. But no matter what she says even if she is wrong we love her. (Thus discrediting grandma's words in your small children who trust and believe in you) But be careful: The last thing you want is for your children to feel that they have to choose sides. If they know its ok to love you, and to love their grandma, you will never loose your children. XOXO Misty Eyez

Dead Weight

Dear Misty,

I have a friend that said she would do things for a project we were working on and has flaked time and time again. She never seems to get how her blowing off the project is affecting everyone else involuved. Then she comes up with lots of new ideas for things we can do, but does not understand why we get pissed when fails to carry her share of the wieght. It was her idea to join us in the first place! She seems put out when asked to do things that are helping her. How can I explain that she asked to do this and has been a pain in the ass ever since.
Over The Dead Wieght!

Dear Carrying a Heavy Load:

This is a tough one, and therefore should be dealt with carefully. Your friend obviously wants to be involved, hence her inviting herself in and offering the new ideas. Its hard for me to answer not knowing your age range: If your in High School and this is a school project etc, maybe she only wants to be your friend when certain people are not around... and therefore becomes flaky. If your adults, and this is a work or professional situation, maybe she has bitten off more than she can chew. Or she has no real desire to help, but she wants her name on the project, so that she can say she was involved, and receive the praise or respect associated with this project. Especially if this is an important or prestigious project. In either case I understand your frustration, and you need to cut the fat, and get read of the dead weight. The least painful way to get rid of her is to give her less and less responsibility, to the point that she has nothing to do with this project. Eventually she will probably say... wait what about me? To which you will say - "Oh I'm sorry but you have been so busy or distracted lately that I haven't been able to rely on you, so I took care of it, or found someone else to do it." -- That is unless you really need or want her help, in which case you need to pull her off to the side (not in front of the rest of the team) and have a piece of paper (or seven) with a list of all the things she has failed you on. So that she can also visualize your frustrations. Let her know... LOOK I need you and I want you ... and you offered to help... But your "HELPING" is making me pull my hair out. Step Up.. or Step Out! ~XOX Misty Eyez

NERVOUS TWITTER

Dear Misty, I have been chatting (ie. phone, texting, through a website, and email) with this guy on and off for about 2 years now and I met online who lives approximately 4 hours away. For the past few months we have been chatting everyday and sharing our attraction to each other. I have continued to casually date other men, but find myself more and more attracted to my online friend rather then the men I meet in person, locally. I asked if he would like to come down and visit me of which he excitely replied yes so we are planning a time for him to come down and stay with me. I have some trepidation about meeting in person and he verablized some nervousness as well which I only assume is natural. I really like him and I am very interested in things working out. How should I interact with him and what should I do for fun once he gets here? ~ Nervously twitterpated! Dear the Nervous Twitter, Nervousness is GOOD! It shows that you have realistic expectations, hope for the best but are afraid for the worst. YES, Online is the way of the future and I personally know several very happy couples that have met online. But the reality is that you have no idea if you will be compatible or even attracted to each other physically. Remember that when we chat online we can be anyone we want, not to mention we can hide our flaws and imperfections. That being said your relationship is currently based on a fantasy... Full of what if's... and could this really be the one. That in and of itself can be quite intoxicating. In the back of your mind remember there may be a very good reason he is single. In the meantime I think its good thing that you're keeping your other options open until this man indeed becomes a reality. Don't put all your eggs in one basket. I definitely think you should meet, you'll never know what could happen until you take a chance. However, just make it is just that... A VISIT. The world is full of freeloaders, and romantic men are their biggest targets. So it might be best if you visit him first or make sure that this guy is not moving when he comes to see you. While he is here have realistic expectations, and Im sure everything will be GREAT. As for fun... do things that are are just that fun, and out of the house. This way you can learn more about him and his likes without turning his visit into a sex fest. If you want this relationship to stand the test of time make sure its not based on sex, and that you are indeed compatible in real life. Especially if this long distance relationship has intentions of becoming something more local. Wishing you the BEST ~ Misty Eyez

MISS MATURE

Dear Misty: I have a friend I have known for years! We used to go out clubbing & drinking a lot (think Sex and the City). Then she met "her dream man" and settled down. Well here we are a few years later & her dream guy became a nightmare. Now when we go out to the clubs she needs to party all night, which I am OK with from time to time, but she parties hard! And when we get together for lunch or shopping she brings her kids everywhere! Not that I dislike her kids but there are times a screaming child in a cafe is just too much! I want to still hang out but 2 kids are not part of that picture. And getting wasted is something I out grew. (Not too long ago) I have told her all this but she just doesn't get it. ~The Mature One

Dear Miss Mature,

Well first you will have to let your friend know that she will need to find a new getting wasted buddy. Be honest and let her know you have out grown this stage of life and its just not fun for you anymore. (This might not be too hard for her to grasp) She may just think the only thing you want to do is go out and get drunk because that is what you used to do. Either that or she is trying to cling to her youth before her kids and man etc. However it appears that have out grown your friend, and like in Sex and the City Times change and so do people. Being it is obvious you cherish your friendship with this gal otherwise it wouldn't bother you so much. So going forward you will need to create more of an adult relationship (which doesn't seem to be a problem for you.) Plan your future outings together either at home or at parks or places that are kid friendly. There is nothing wrong with hanging out with your girlfriend and catch up on all the gossip while the kids are running around Chucky Cheese. This way they will be busy and pre-occupied for a few hours and not in your hair. All the while not embarrassing you at a cafe where you have to keep reminding them to be quiet. That and when you get them home you can have more alone time for they will be tired. Where you can kick back and have a glass of wine. My point is yes you built your friendship on one thing but it is ok to evolve it into something new.

Good Luck with your friend ~Misty Eyez

Virginity

Dear Misty Eyez~ I am I 19 year old guy who hasn't lost his virginity yet! Do you recommend that I wait till I find someone special, or "lose it" to a close friend? I am experiencing sexual stress, masturbation alone does not help relieve my problem. What do you believe is the best situation to help me? I feel as though I am the last virgin, am I weird? I don't wanted to make the wrong decision but I need to figure out something!

Signed ~Adam (not Eve)

Dear Adam~I understand your frustration, but I personally feel that you have a very special gift and you should hold on to it as long as possible. As you may know, I was raised in the church and they believe you should not have sex until you are married. I am not saying you should hold on to it that long (especially being I don't know if you will be able to be married??) To be honest it is a rare coin that I can see both sides so clearly. I do not think there is anything wrong with experimenting with many of the fish in the sea before you settle down. But I do think that you should wait for someone VERY special. You will always remember your first time & it should be something beautiful, something to cherish and something worth remembering. Yes, the promiscuous nature of certain parts of the Gay lifestyle (clubs, bathhouses) can be quite INTOXICATING, however it is also full of heartache and pain, not to mention disease. There is also a large number of Gays involved in long term monogamous relationships! However I feel you are in a special situation and I urge you to be careful, protect yourself and wait for someone you love.... (and then be a whore - LOL) XOXO Misty Eyez!

Gay Marriage

Dear Misty:

I have a friend of whom I always thought of as a cool, modern type of woman. Both she & I are straight woman. We were talking on the phone and I told her I was invited to 4 same sex weddings. She told me that was "just not right” and that she was personally offended that "gays want to be able to marry". I was shocked. What did miss in the past that would have told me she is a bigot?! Should I end this friendship? I just don't think I can hold my tongue next time I see her.

~Modern Chic in LA

Dear Shocked:

GIRL... you need to drop that bitch like a hot potato.

OK... Now seriously... We have to realize that our lives are full of many different types of people, some good and some bad. The beautiful thing is we can always have the choice to be offended or not. I think you should chose NOT to be offended by your friends ignorance and move on. Yes you are right, she may be a bigot. But I assume you have a friendship for a reason. What is that friendship based on? If it is something more serious than the fact that you are both fans of chocolate ice-cream then I would not say end it. But I will say that if your friend has NO shame in sharing with you how she feels about you and your friends then I don't feel there is any need to bite your tongue. She opened that door and now its up to you to walk through it or not. The true test of friendship will be wether or not she remains your friend when you tell her she is both narrow minded and prejudice. You can tell her I said that we now live in the New Testament and the bible no longer condone's slavery, and I know its shocking but now days we are not only allowed to eat shell fish but we are also allowed to marry people of other races. (In the future if you remain friends... I suggest you treat her as a republican... Love her even if she is wrong, and just not talk politics with her. Its ok to be friends with someone and not agree with everything.)

Lovingly yours, Misty

Lost Young Boy

Dear Misty.

I just came out of the closet this year -- not that everyone didn't already know. I graduated High School '08 and Im not old enough to get into the clubs yet. I dont have any friends and my family thinks I'm a freak. I hate myself and dont know what to do. I tried to meet some guys online but they only want one night stands, and then they never want to talk to me again. Is there hope for me and how do I meet people for friendship.

~Lonely and confused.

Dear Lonely.

I am so glad you wrote me this letter. This is something near and dear to my heart, not to mention I have walked many MILES in your shoes. When you are young, and your world is changing all around you life can be very complex and scary. Don't Loose Hope there are Many places where you can meet people your own age and make real friends etc. I dont know where you live but in Fort Lauderdale I'm involved with the M Project (www.mproject954.com) Its a place where Men Mpower Men. Its a safe place for guys 18-30 to come hang out and talk about anything that is on their heart or minds. They have Game nights, Movie Nights, and its really fun. I think anywhere you put gay men in one place it becomes a little cruisey, but this place is not all about hook-ups. I have created many REAL friends there. If you are not in Fort Lauderdale contact your GLCC (Gay and Lesbian Community Center) and ask if they have a youth group. But most importantly don't loose hope, life is full of growing pains and I know it seems tough right now, but you will pull through and make it to the other side a winner.

Single Lady

Dear Misty,

I am a professional gay male with an image problem. The company I work for is rather small and we tend to all carpool together. This is great, "Green", and environmentally great however, more often than not I am in a car with just my boss. I will get checked out at stop lights but then they see him and think I'm "taken", "property", or my Sugar Daddy. This has gone on for years now and every so often at social and business functions people just assume we are "together." We are the furthest from that and I was wondering if there was anything I can do to avoid that. I can't find a boyfriend to save my life and think that would be the only solution. I wish I could hire someone for a couple of weeks but with this economy...

Single In the Other Car

Dear Single Lady,

I do understand and can definitely relate to this situation. A year and a half ago my brother moved down, and after being estranged for several years we re-built a very healthy and loving relationship. I love my brother and I truly enjoy taking him with me when I travel, not only do I have a ball spending time with him but he makes the perfect body guard. Soon after being seen with me all over the place together: At clubs, at Shows, at restaurants, at bear pool parties everyone started to think that he was my boyfriend. Unlike your scenario Im not embarassed and I dont care if people think he is my boyfriend. (Other than the fact of course that its also gross he is my brother.) Yet, this can be a double edged sword, it can be a nice filter of protection, guarding you from the annoying riff raft. However it can also keep away the guys you want. So he and I have mastered the move when we see a guy we like one of us will bring up the fact that we are brothers. Signaling not only to the target that we are available but also to each other that we are interested in this man. I don't know what you do, but I'm sure you can casually bring up in conversation -- "Yeah, This is name, he and I work together..." It would also be great for networking and Im sure he would like it. Also beware of your posture and mannerisms toward each other. Often times in small companies you are more intimate and friendly than if it were a major company. You may be close but regulate how affectionate you are towards each other you will be surprised at how much people pay attention to your body language especially in a social event. As for the guys in cars next to you... Dont let that bother you, be proud that you are looked at as a "BOY" and who knows many of these daddies like to take other's castaway boys so if you ever see that guy in the car next too you, you never know maybe that could open a whole new door for you one day?

XOXO Misty

Face Book Status

Dear Misty:

I have been dating the same guy for almost 7 months. We LOVE each other, and we trust each other. We are monogamous, or at least as far as I know we are. But I have a problem, he still has not changed his Facebook or Myspace status from Single. What the Hell? Do we need to date for a year first what is his problem.

What do I do.

-Wanting the world to know.

Dear Shouting it from the Roof Tops:

Unless you are one of those queens who brings a new husband to the bar every weekend. Changing your Public Online Social Status's is a BIG DEAL. In fact its a major step in the marriage direction (as if we had that privilege.) When a man changes his status he is officially announcing to the world... IM OFF THE MARKET! I know you said you have been dating, but lets face it there are LOTS of different kinds of relationships. Dating and Boyfriends are not the same thing. Dating is I have been on more than one date with you and plan to do more... but IM also seeing other people. He may have been flirting with several people online and he wants to keep them as an emergency backups in case things don't work out with you. Or maybe your a good lay and he really is keeping his eyez open for something bigger and better? How does he introduce you to his friends? As his boyfriend? Parnter? Lover? or nothing... that could be a sure sign before you ask where you stand.

As I have mentioned before, the key to a successful relationship is communication. Talk to him about this. Tell him you noticed he hasn't changed his status, and then ask if he was planning on changing it. Then tell him what you changed yours too and why. It is quite possible that once the two of you started dating he hasn't been online much and has let it slide by the way. But its also likely that he is still out there crusing for new possibilities. Once you find out his true intentions, it will be up to you how to react. Remember we as humans decide how to process situations and handle things. From here you will need to either decide to stay his Mister here and now, or to stop things with him and go look for Mr future. (I will also say that sometimes a man doesn't know what he had until its gone)

Golden Showers

Dear Misty,

I have been dating my boyfriend for a few months now. We are serious, without jenksing it, I would say that I have found my life partner. We were at a social party this past weekend and over martini's my boyfriend told the group he wanted me to pee on him. I was in shock, and it must have shown on my face, for he then sighed and said "Im just Kidding Honey." and then began to laugh it off. We have never done anything kinky like that before, nor have we talked about it. and he did it publicly? What should I do? Do you Think He was serious?

Help! Am I a Future Golden Boy? Im not sure if I want to do this.

Dear Goldie frocks.....

Yes, I do think that you will be taking on a new activity in your private life. Remember back when we were young and closeted, and struggling with coming out. Especially when we were not sure if we wanted to come out to our friends or not... often times this is how people handle uncomfortable social situations... They test the waters by joking around. So that if its an unfavorable response they can retract it by saying "I was just joking" Unless their friends are like "I always knew you were gay I'm glad you can tell me now" etc...

Now you mentioned this may be your life partner. If that is true, and if he is indeed the one, then you will obviously want to keep this man. I believe in my heart that every relationship is give and take, and for the success of your relationship you must compromise. From here I can also say "Variety is the Spice of Life," however in reality I will say this...I personally am open minded enough to try anything once, especially in a loving and trusting relationship. So if my life partner really wanted to try something out of the ordinary I would most definetly do it. In fact I would do anything to please my man. As in every relationship, communication is very important. Talk afterwards, talk about what you did like and what you didn't like. What would have to change if you did it again. Who knows you may really get into it, but if you didn't like it, hopefully he only needed to do it just that once. But remember if you if you refuse and he is really craving this or anything else your not willing to do. Well, lets just say men have been known to wander for less.

So... I would say go get a porn with a golden shower scene or two, and watch it, and learn from it. Educate yourself on the safety of it and go experiment safely and responsibly.

How to be PERFECT (hostess)

Dear Misty,

I am a new drag queen. And I have been asked to hostess my best friends birthday party. He is turning 25 and its a big deal for him. He is going all out and its going to be huge. I know your all over doing a lot of parties and special events. What tips would you give me to be the perfect hostess for his special night. I have never done this before and Im nervous.. Please Help.

Nervous Hostess.

Dear Nervous,

This is something very near and dear to my heart and what a perfect way for me to break the Ice for the ASK Misty Section of the site... THANK YOU. I few quick things... FIRST Don't be nervous ... Dogs and bees are not the only ones that can smell fear (Shady queens are great at it) and Second remember this is his special day.. its an honor to be asked to help him... but don't take his spotlight either. However he can only entertain a few guests at a time so you will be perfect to help entertain the others.

I have devised a Top Ten List of how to be the PERFECT Hostess! This is applicable to birthday Parties, Hosting corporate parties to even Hosting Club nights. You want everyone to Remember you and of course you want to be a MUST HAVE Personality at their next party. (PS... also bring your business cards -- That way you can leave with another booking)

Top 10 things to remember, in order to be a PERFECT HOSTESS that everyone will remember, and want at their next party.

10. Wear Comfortable Clothes / Shoes. If you have a long train or a big ball gown your dress will be getting in the way of you and your guests. Hindering you of doing your job. Yes wear something FIERCE but comfortable and reasonable. Your shoes can be any style or any height, however if they are not comfortable you'll be tempted to sit the entire night and not mingle with the room. (Not to mention you'll be a total bitch if your uncomfortable.)

9. Don't be afraid to Introduce Strangers. You don't have to know people to introduce them to others, in fact this is a great way to learn their name and say hi yourself. Not to mention, if people can leave your party with new friends they are having a great time. If people have a good time they will come back.

8. Never argue with a drunk! This is a Lose/Lose Battle. A, you don't want to be seen arguing with them and B, you'll never win. Instead Humor the person as if you would a person that simply couldn't understand you. If this person is your friend bring up the topic the next day and then speak your mind.

7. Always look like your having a good time. Yes, misery loves company, but NOT at a party. If your having fun other's will want to be around you. In essence be the life of the party. (If your truly nervous, imagine everyone is naked.) Feel free to have a couple drinks to loosen up, BUT DO NOT get drunk, otherwise you will be memorable for all the wrong reasons.

6. Know where people are at all times. This does not mean keeping tabs of who is in the restroom, however it is keeping an eye on the flow of the room. Most people move in herds to the bar, to the buffet to the couches etc. When you notice a few people who are now alone or in a dwindling area go and appraise the situation. Maybe they left cause there is no more Vodka, so you will know to tell someone to get more. Whatever the reason is, you can address it or keep those lonely people company for a few moments, or at least until others come around.

5. Be Aware of your Eye Contact. Don't be constantly looking around when you are in conversation with someone. When someone is talking to you look straight at them, yes directly in their eyez. Use the time when you are speaking to let your eyez wander anywhere in the room they like, all while still seeming totally interested in what the other person is saying. That is once they start speaking again you resume your eye contact and your interest. If fail at the eye contact rule, you will not only come across as a disinterested bore, but as someone not worthy of trust , or someone very insecure. None of which are positive signs for a hostess.

4. Know When to Move. At every party you will have the guy that wants to talk your ear off, or you may be in a number of situations that make you uncomfortable. Once your inner panic sets in and you realize you have to get out. In this you can Lie if need to but do your best to not make the other person uncomfortable. Example: While nodding enthusiastically at whatever Mr Snore is saying, then but in... Oh No! If you'll excuse me, I really need to use the restroom. (hopefully you can come up with something else but that works if you cannot think on the spot. However if you use this one literally make your way to the restroom and at least check your face.)

3. Save the Embarrassment / Self Respect of others, Especially your VIPS. This is only for the advanced level hostess, for it takes a secure person to go that far for their guests. Lets pretend: A very influential person is a bit full and is talking to a group of people at a fine "white linen" reception and he/she spills their red wine clumsily and you are near by... quickly take your wine and oops spill it over top of their mess. "Goodness sakes, look at how clumsy We All are tonight." Have fun, and make sure everyone else is having fun, you will know when to use this, and it wont be for every person in the room. However when you do use this you will be someone's hero.

2. Say Hello to Everyone! Not at the same time of course, and if you have a mic that doesn't count. Make it your personal goal to have said hello or greeted every single person at the party. A friendly kiss on the cheek or a hand shake depending on how gay the party is or which part of the country you are from. This will leave the lasting impression on everyone, especially those whom you didn't know before the party. (This is a great way to get hired to host other parties) (BTW: Yes you are allowed to have your own guilty pleasure mingle with the hot guy or someone that you really want to get to know.)

1. HAVE FUN! Remember This is a Party. Yes you want to make sure everyone around is having fun, but never forget about number one: You. Yes eat drink and be merry, however know your limits. If you get too drunk you will not be asked to hostess another party. That being said also limit your time off the floor. Yes you may have to go change clothes or get ready for a number but don't be off the floor so long that people are looking for you.

WHO IS MISTY EYEZ

Who Is Misty Eyez? you Ask

Other than the obvious.. "she is the most beautiful girl in the world".... Misty Eyez is also an incredibly loveable, playful, passionate, caring, loyal, dedicated, honest, compassionate, considerate, and moral person. She is an artist, a model, a performer, an emcee, a journalist, a hostess, a promoter, a mentor, a Mother, a sister. a lover and most importantly she is a friend. She is a quick witted, amphibious, energetic, loyal, entertainer with the heart and soul of a mother. She is also a Capricorn and is a natural born leader being the oldest of seven children.

I realize I may be intimidating Especially with big hair and 6" shoes (making me 7 ft tall) Yet I try to make myself as approachable as possible, underneath all this glitz and glamour I'm just a big teddy bear.

Every Wednesday at 7:30 I hostess Bitchy Bingo at Lips Fort Lauderdale (www.lipsusa.com) I am also the show director and Hostess of Fort Lauderdale's biggest Drag show The Trannie Palace every Sunday Night 10pm at Bills Filling Station. However, you can find Misty Eyez in many different situations, and venues. As said above I am amphibious and clearly adaptable to my surroundings. I can go from glamazon Pageant girl to ultra fabulous club kid, and am often found somewhere inbetween. I love to travel and you can find me working a Huge Circuit party with 8,000 people or at a small bar for chill night.

Misty Eyez was created as a personality to help raise money for charity, and performing at benefits, and this remains a big part of me. I believe that in order to truly succeed in life you must reach out and help others, for universal law will bring the love back to you.

I moved to Fort Lauderdale in October 2001 and have made a home for myself here ever since. I love Florida and I love Fort Lauderdale and I honestly don't see myself moving for many years. (Unless I get cast on Broadway or in a TV series and then I'll relocate for work) But I really do love it here.

I have led a very full life, and have been to the opposite side of the spectrum and back. I grew up as the Eldest Son of a Minster -- Yes I'm a P.K. I have also been a church camp counselor, a youth minister, a praise and worship leader, and an over seas missionary. Then I rebelled and became a stripper, escort, and phone sex operator. I have grown and learned from all of my life experiences. Now I stand before you as an OUT AND PROUD, gay activist who believes that -- YES -- I am created in Gods image, and God doesn't make mistakes. He made me just the way he wanted me, so that I can help make your world more colorful.

I have always lived my life in front of the microscope and as a performer I continue to do so. People are always watching and people are Always aware. I do not plan on running for office, However I do believe, living in the public eye, is a responsibility, and you live your life as an example for those around you. Yes I make mistakes along the way, but I learn from them. I firmly believe that if you do lead, others will follow.

Ladies and Gentlemen.. that in a nutshell is Misty Eyez.

INTRODUCTION

Tormented? Worried Sick?

Cant Sleep? Confused?

Relationship Issues?

Misty Eyez is here to Help!

All you have to do is ask

---

Hello readers, fans and the dearly confused or troubled friends.

In next little while.... I will be reviving the ASK MISTY Column here on www.boysbuzz.net I will be addressing all your problems, issues, dilemmas whatever they may be no matter how troubling or how frivolous. I'm open to any subject matter that we as GLBTQ men, women, and TGIRLS may face. If your straight and would like a unique perspective I'll take your questions as well. This includes sex related issues, relationship problems, everyday life conflicts, romance strategy, family drama, work struggles, drag related issues, trouble with the kids, or anything else that may have you conflicted.

I give you my upmost and solemn promise to give you the BEST advice that I possibly can, and if I am not familiar with your issue (Like what bait to use when fishing for trout) I will find it out. I'm here for you, as your own personal "Dear Gay Abby" in the form of Ask Misty.

I just put out a blast to all my friends on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/group.php?gid=41348774494&ref=ts) and on myspace (www.myspace.com/mistyeyez) and to the few I have following me on Twitter. (http://twitter.com/TheEyezofFL) asking for letters, but you can email me directly at TheEyezofFL@aol.com and in the Subject put ASK MISTY

I look forward to hearting from you.

XOXO