Single Lady

Dear Misty,

I am a professional gay male with an image problem. The company I work for is rather small and we tend to all carpool together. This is great, "Green", and environmentally great however, more often than not I am in a car with just my boss. I will get checked out at stop lights but then they see him and think I'm "taken", "property", or my Sugar Daddy. This has gone on for years now and every so often at social and business functions people just assume we are "together." We are the furthest from that and I was wondering if there was anything I can do to avoid that. I can't find a boyfriend to save my life and think that would be the only solution. I wish I could hire someone for a couple of weeks but with this economy...

Single In the Other Car

Dear Single Lady,

I do understand and can definitely relate to this situation. A year and a half ago my brother moved down, and after being estranged for several years we re-built a very healthy and loving relationship. I love my brother and I truly enjoy taking him with me when I travel, not only do I have a ball spending time with him but he makes the perfect body guard. Soon after being seen with me all over the place together: At clubs, at Shows, at restaurants, at bear pool parties everyone started to think that he was my boyfriend. Unlike your scenario Im not embarassed and I dont care if people think he is my boyfriend. (Other than the fact of course that its also gross he is my brother.) Yet, this can be a double edged sword, it can be a nice filter of protection, guarding you from the annoying riff raft. However it can also keep away the guys you want. So he and I have mastered the move when we see a guy we like one of us will bring up the fact that we are brothers. Signaling not only to the target that we are available but also to each other that we are interested in this man. I don't know what you do, but I'm sure you can casually bring up in conversation -- "Yeah, This is name, he and I work together..." It would also be great for networking and Im sure he would like it. Also beware of your posture and mannerisms toward each other. Often times in small companies you are more intimate and friendly than if it were a major company. You may be close but regulate how affectionate you are towards each other you will be surprised at how much people pay attention to your body language especially in a social event. As for the guys in cars next to you... Dont let that bother you, be proud that you are looked at as a "BOY" and who knows many of these daddies like to take other's castaway boys so if you ever see that guy in the car next too you, you never know maybe that could open a whole new door for you one day?

XOXO Misty

Face Book Status

Dear Misty:

I have been dating the same guy for almost 7 months. We LOVE each other, and we trust each other. We are monogamous, or at least as far as I know we are. But I have a problem, he still has not changed his Facebook or Myspace status from Single. What the Hell? Do we need to date for a year first what is his problem.

What do I do.

-Wanting the world to know.

Dear Shouting it from the Roof Tops:

Unless you are one of those queens who brings a new husband to the bar every weekend. Changing your Public Online Social Status's is a BIG DEAL. In fact its a major step in the marriage direction (as if we had that privilege.) When a man changes his status he is officially announcing to the world... IM OFF THE MARKET! I know you said you have been dating, but lets face it there are LOTS of different kinds of relationships. Dating and Boyfriends are not the same thing. Dating is I have been on more than one date with you and plan to do more... but IM also seeing other people. He may have been flirting with several people online and he wants to keep them as an emergency backups in case things don't work out with you. Or maybe your a good lay and he really is keeping his eyez open for something bigger and better? How does he introduce you to his friends? As his boyfriend? Parnter? Lover? or nothing... that could be a sure sign before you ask where you stand.

As I have mentioned before, the key to a successful relationship is communication. Talk to him about this. Tell him you noticed he hasn't changed his status, and then ask if he was planning on changing it. Then tell him what you changed yours too and why. It is quite possible that once the two of you started dating he hasn't been online much and has let it slide by the way. But its also likely that he is still out there crusing for new possibilities. Once you find out his true intentions, it will be up to you how to react. Remember we as humans decide how to process situations and handle things. From here you will need to either decide to stay his Mister here and now, or to stop things with him and go look for Mr future. (I will also say that sometimes a man doesn't know what he had until its gone)

Golden Showers

Dear Misty,

I have been dating my boyfriend for a few months now. We are serious, without jenksing it, I would say that I have found my life partner. We were at a social party this past weekend and over martini's my boyfriend told the group he wanted me to pee on him. I was in shock, and it must have shown on my face, for he then sighed and said "Im just Kidding Honey." and then began to laugh it off. We have never done anything kinky like that before, nor have we talked about it. and he did it publicly? What should I do? Do you Think He was serious?

Help! Am I a Future Golden Boy? Im not sure if I want to do this.

Dear Goldie frocks.....

Yes, I do think that you will be taking on a new activity in your private life. Remember back when we were young and closeted, and struggling with coming out. Especially when we were not sure if we wanted to come out to our friends or not... often times this is how people handle uncomfortable social situations... They test the waters by joking around. So that if its an unfavorable response they can retract it by saying "I was just joking" Unless their friends are like "I always knew you were gay I'm glad you can tell me now" etc...

Now you mentioned this may be your life partner. If that is true, and if he is indeed the one, then you will obviously want to keep this man. I believe in my heart that every relationship is give and take, and for the success of your relationship you must compromise. From here I can also say "Variety is the Spice of Life," however in reality I will say this...I personally am open minded enough to try anything once, especially in a loving and trusting relationship. So if my life partner really wanted to try something out of the ordinary I would most definetly do it. In fact I would do anything to please my man. As in every relationship, communication is very important. Talk afterwards, talk about what you did like and what you didn't like. What would have to change if you did it again. Who knows you may really get into it, but if you didn't like it, hopefully he only needed to do it just that once. But remember if you if you refuse and he is really craving this or anything else your not willing to do. Well, lets just say men have been known to wander for less.

So... I would say go get a porn with a golden shower scene or two, and watch it, and learn from it. Educate yourself on the safety of it and go experiment safely and responsibly.

How to be PERFECT (hostess)

Dear Misty,

I am a new drag queen. And I have been asked to hostess my best friends birthday party. He is turning 25 and its a big deal for him. He is going all out and its going to be huge. I know your all over doing a lot of parties and special events. What tips would you give me to be the perfect hostess for his special night. I have never done this before and Im nervous.. Please Help.

Nervous Hostess.

Dear Nervous,

This is something very near and dear to my heart and what a perfect way for me to break the Ice for the ASK Misty Section of the site... THANK YOU. I few quick things... FIRST Don't be nervous ... Dogs and bees are not the only ones that can smell fear (Shady queens are great at it) and Second remember this is his special day.. its an honor to be asked to help him... but don't take his spotlight either. However he can only entertain a few guests at a time so you will be perfect to help entertain the others.

I have devised a Top Ten List of how to be the PERFECT Hostess! This is applicable to birthday Parties, Hosting corporate parties to even Hosting Club nights. You want everyone to Remember you and of course you want to be a MUST HAVE Personality at their next party. (PS... also bring your business cards -- That way you can leave with another booking)

Top 10 things to remember, in order to be a PERFECT HOSTESS that everyone will remember, and want at their next party.

10. Wear Comfortable Clothes / Shoes. If you have a long train or a big ball gown your dress will be getting in the way of you and your guests. Hindering you of doing your job. Yes wear something FIERCE but comfortable and reasonable. Your shoes can be any style or any height, however if they are not comfortable you'll be tempted to sit the entire night and not mingle with the room. (Not to mention you'll be a total bitch if your uncomfortable.)

9. Don't be afraid to Introduce Strangers. You don't have to know people to introduce them to others, in fact this is a great way to learn their name and say hi yourself. Not to mention, if people can leave your party with new friends they are having a great time. If people have a good time they will come back.

8. Never argue with a drunk! This is a Lose/Lose Battle. A, you don't want to be seen arguing with them and B, you'll never win. Instead Humor the person as if you would a person that simply couldn't understand you. If this person is your friend bring up the topic the next day and then speak your mind.

7. Always look like your having a good time. Yes, misery loves company, but NOT at a party. If your having fun other's will want to be around you. In essence be the life of the party. (If your truly nervous, imagine everyone is naked.) Feel free to have a couple drinks to loosen up, BUT DO NOT get drunk, otherwise you will be memorable for all the wrong reasons.

6. Know where people are at all times. This does not mean keeping tabs of who is in the restroom, however it is keeping an eye on the flow of the room. Most people move in herds to the bar, to the buffet to the couches etc. When you notice a few people who are now alone or in a dwindling area go and appraise the situation. Maybe they left cause there is no more Vodka, so you will know to tell someone to get more. Whatever the reason is, you can address it or keep those lonely people company for a few moments, or at least until others come around.

5. Be Aware of your Eye Contact. Don't be constantly looking around when you are in conversation with someone. When someone is talking to you look straight at them, yes directly in their eyez. Use the time when you are speaking to let your eyez wander anywhere in the room they like, all while still seeming totally interested in what the other person is saying. That is once they start speaking again you resume your eye contact and your interest. If fail at the eye contact rule, you will not only come across as a disinterested bore, but as someone not worthy of trust , or someone very insecure. None of which are positive signs for a hostess.

4. Know When to Move. At every party you will have the guy that wants to talk your ear off, or you may be in a number of situations that make you uncomfortable. Once your inner panic sets in and you realize you have to get out. In this you can Lie if need to but do your best to not make the other person uncomfortable. Example: While nodding enthusiastically at whatever Mr Snore is saying, then but in... Oh No! If you'll excuse me, I really need to use the restroom. (hopefully you can come up with something else but that works if you cannot think on the spot. However if you use this one literally make your way to the restroom and at least check your face.)

3. Save the Embarrassment / Self Respect of others, Especially your VIPS. This is only for the advanced level hostess, for it takes a secure person to go that far for their guests. Lets pretend: A very influential person is a bit full and is talking to a group of people at a fine "white linen" reception and he/she spills their red wine clumsily and you are near by... quickly take your wine and oops spill it over top of their mess. "Goodness sakes, look at how clumsy We All are tonight." Have fun, and make sure everyone else is having fun, you will know when to use this, and it wont be for every person in the room. However when you do use this you will be someone's hero.

2. Say Hello to Everyone! Not at the same time of course, and if you have a mic that doesn't count. Make it your personal goal to have said hello or greeted every single person at the party. A friendly kiss on the cheek or a hand shake depending on how gay the party is or which part of the country you are from. This will leave the lasting impression on everyone, especially those whom you didn't know before the party. (This is a great way to get hired to host other parties) (BTW: Yes you are allowed to have your own guilty pleasure mingle with the hot guy or someone that you really want to get to know.)

1. HAVE FUN! Remember This is a Party. Yes you want to make sure everyone around is having fun, but never forget about number one: You. Yes eat drink and be merry, however know your limits. If you get too drunk you will not be asked to hostess another party. That being said also limit your time off the floor. Yes you may have to go change clothes or get ready for a number but don't be off the floor so long that people are looking for you.

WHO IS MISTY EYEZ

Who Is Misty Eyez? you Ask

Other than the obvious.. "she is the most beautiful girl in the world".... Misty Eyez is also an incredibly loveable, playful, passionate, caring, loyal, dedicated, honest, compassionate, considerate, and moral person. She is an artist, a model, a performer, an emcee, a journalist, a hostess, a promoter, a mentor, a Mother, a sister. a lover and most importantly she is a friend. She is a quick witted, amphibious, energetic, loyal, entertainer with the heart and soul of a mother. She is also a Capricorn and is a natural born leader being the oldest of seven children.

I realize I may be intimidating Especially with big hair and 6" shoes (making me 7 ft tall) Yet I try to make myself as approachable as possible, underneath all this glitz and glamour I'm just a big teddy bear.

Every Wednesday at 7:30 I hostess Bitchy Bingo at Lips Fort Lauderdale (www.lipsusa.com) I am also the show director and Hostess of Fort Lauderdale's biggest Drag show The Trannie Palace every Sunday Night 10pm at Bills Filling Station. However, you can find Misty Eyez in many different situations, and venues. As said above I am amphibious and clearly adaptable to my surroundings. I can go from glamazon Pageant girl to ultra fabulous club kid, and am often found somewhere inbetween. I love to travel and you can find me working a Huge Circuit party with 8,000 people or at a small bar for chill night.

Misty Eyez was created as a personality to help raise money for charity, and performing at benefits, and this remains a big part of me. I believe that in order to truly succeed in life you must reach out and help others, for universal law will bring the love back to you.

I moved to Fort Lauderdale in October 2001 and have made a home for myself here ever since. I love Florida and I love Fort Lauderdale and I honestly don't see myself moving for many years. (Unless I get cast on Broadway or in a TV series and then I'll relocate for work) But I really do love it here.

I have led a very full life, and have been to the opposite side of the spectrum and back. I grew up as the Eldest Son of a Minster -- Yes I'm a P.K. I have also been a church camp counselor, a youth minister, a praise and worship leader, and an over seas missionary. Then I rebelled and became a stripper, escort, and phone sex operator. I have grown and learned from all of my life experiences. Now I stand before you as an OUT AND PROUD, gay activist who believes that -- YES -- I am created in Gods image, and God doesn't make mistakes. He made me just the way he wanted me, so that I can help make your world more colorful.

I have always lived my life in front of the microscope and as a performer I continue to do so. People are always watching and people are Always aware. I do not plan on running for office, However I do believe, living in the public eye, is a responsibility, and you live your life as an example for those around you. Yes I make mistakes along the way, but I learn from them. I firmly believe that if you do lead, others will follow.

Ladies and Gentlemen.. that in a nutshell is Misty Eyez.

INTRODUCTION

Tormented? Worried Sick?

Cant Sleep? Confused?

Relationship Issues?

Misty Eyez is here to Help!

All you have to do is ask

---

Hello readers, fans and the dearly confused or troubled friends.

In next little while.... I will be reviving the ASK MISTY Column here on www.boysbuzz.net I will be addressing all your problems, issues, dilemmas whatever they may be no matter how troubling or how frivolous. I'm open to any subject matter that we as GLBTQ men, women, and TGIRLS may face. If your straight and would like a unique perspective I'll take your questions as well. This includes sex related issues, relationship problems, everyday life conflicts, romance strategy, family drama, work struggles, drag related issues, trouble with the kids, or anything else that may have you conflicted.

I give you my upmost and solemn promise to give you the BEST advice that I possibly can, and if I am not familiar with your issue (Like what bait to use when fishing for trout) I will find it out. I'm here for you, as your own personal "Dear Gay Abby" in the form of Ask Misty.

I just put out a blast to all my friends on Facebook (http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/group.php?gid=41348774494&ref=ts) and on myspace (www.myspace.com/mistyeyez) and to the few I have following me on Twitter. (http://twitter.com/TheEyezofFL) asking for letters, but you can email me directly at TheEyezofFL@aol.com and in the Subject put ASK MISTY

I look forward to hearting from you.

XOXO