Gay Marriage

Dear Misty:

I have a friend of whom I always thought of as a cool, modern type of woman. Both she & I are straight woman. We were talking on the phone and I told her I was invited to 4 same sex weddings. She told me that was "just not right” and that she was personally offended that "gays want to be able to marry". I was shocked. What did miss in the past that would have told me she is a bigot?! Should I end this friendship? I just don't think I can hold my tongue next time I see her.

~Modern Chic in LA

Dear Shocked:

GIRL... you need to drop that bitch like a hot potato.

OK... Now seriously... We have to realize that our lives are full of many different types of people, some good and some bad. The beautiful thing is we can always have the choice to be offended or not. I think you should chose NOT to be offended by your friends ignorance and move on. Yes you are right, she may be a bigot. But I assume you have a friendship for a reason. What is that friendship based on? If it is something more serious than the fact that you are both fans of chocolate ice-cream then I would not say end it. But I will say that if your friend has NO shame in sharing with you how she feels about you and your friends then I don't feel there is any need to bite your tongue. She opened that door and now its up to you to walk through it or not. The true test of friendship will be wether or not she remains your friend when you tell her she is both narrow minded and prejudice. You can tell her I said that we now live in the New Testament and the bible no longer condone's slavery, and I know its shocking but now days we are not only allowed to eat shell fish but we are also allowed to marry people of other races. (In the future if you remain friends... I suggest you treat her as a republican... Love her even if she is wrong, and just not talk politics with her. Its ok to be friends with someone and not agree with everything.)

Lovingly yours, Misty

Lost Young Boy

Dear Misty.

I just came out of the closet this year -- not that everyone didn't already know. I graduated High School '08 and Im not old enough to get into the clubs yet. I dont have any friends and my family thinks I'm a freak. I hate myself and dont know what to do. I tried to meet some guys online but they only want one night stands, and then they never want to talk to me again. Is there hope for me and how do I meet people for friendship.

~Lonely and confused.

Dear Lonely.

I am so glad you wrote me this letter. This is something near and dear to my heart, not to mention I have walked many MILES in your shoes. When you are young, and your world is changing all around you life can be very complex and scary. Don't Loose Hope there are Many places where you can meet people your own age and make real friends etc. I dont know where you live but in Fort Lauderdale I'm involved with the M Project (www.mproject954.com) Its a place where Men Mpower Men. Its a safe place for guys 18-30 to come hang out and talk about anything that is on their heart or minds. They have Game nights, Movie Nights, and its really fun. I think anywhere you put gay men in one place it becomes a little cruisey, but this place is not all about hook-ups. I have created many REAL friends there. If you are not in Fort Lauderdale contact your GLCC (Gay and Lesbian Community Center) and ask if they have a youth group. But most importantly don't loose hope, life is full of growing pains and I know it seems tough right now, but you will pull through and make it to the other side a winner.